Work has been a bit slow as the boss is on site, so I decided I should do a bit of googling and guestimate the budget a bit better so I have a baseline.
http://www.easyweddings.com.au/forum/index.php is my saviour, I love the forums and check them out every few days for updates. There's lots of posts from brides saying they spent this much on X, comparing prices & value. ANYWAY after I started putting a few figures into my trusty old excel sheet I did an autosum...
Are you ready for it?
Really? Please remember we have approx 140 guests on our list for a 3-course meal. Here goes!
$36,000. THIRTY SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS
That is assuming the reception will be 20k which it can easily be with 140 guests. I could probably do the reception for 15k if we chose less desirable options, but that still means we'd be spending 31k on a wedding.
Now, when we first got engaged we figured 20k was a good guesstimate, then we realised our guest list was 40 more than we anticipated, so upped it to 25k. Now that I've punched the numbers I'm considering eloping!!
When I saw the figure at work today I felt sick, I was literally shaking with knots in my stomach thinking about that much money being spent on one day.
36k is the car that Pete wants, its a deposit on a house. No way am I spending 36k on a wedding.
Now if I grew up with money I'd think nothing of it, but coming from a poor-ass family who couldn't even afford a family holiday, 36k for one day is crazy. It's not for me.
I'd rather have a smaller gourmet wedding than a huge spit roast wedding for the same price.
So now MrC and I are discussing having our wedding somewhere else, as in destination wedding. That way people have to travel, so a few people wouldn't come, with a smaller wedding I wouldn't buy an exxy dress, Pete wouldn't need a suit, we wouldn't need lots of flowers etc, no cars. And obviously a cheaper reception!
Early discussions but we will consider all options, lucky we still have heaps of time up our sleeves.
KDB I know you will read this so I'll send you an email tomorrow!
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Stress - How do you deal with this??
I've never been so stressed in my life than I have been in the last few weeks. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, my skin has broken out, my face is still covered in pimples, it's depressing.
This is the first time in my entire life I've been so stressed I couldn't eat. Anyone who knows me knows I can put away the food, so to lose my appetite is serious business.
How do you people deal with stress like this every day?
There have been many times in my life where I should have been stressed but wasn't. Move to Qld at 19? Nope. Break up with long-term boyfriend? Nope. Quit job and move to a regional city with no job lined up? Still no stress.
The cause of this stress: MrC's family. Are you really surprised?
After the fiasco of his family trying to invite every man and his dog to our wedding I was at my wits end. I immaturely wrote something along the lines of "I wish people would be happy for us instead of trying to push their agendas onto us for our wedding. I'm stubborn and won't give in, so give up" on FB. Yes, I know, I put it on fb, what was I thinking? I was thinking that I'd had enough, and wanted to get my thoughts out.
What ensued was a big fb lecture from basically all of MrC's family calling me selfish, immature, calling my friends sluts, skanks, fuckheads for commenting along the lines of "Go MissK! Your day your way!"
The behaviour of his family was disgusting. I hadn't mentioned any names, but they knew it was aimed at them so they attacked back by name-calling. No where in my post did I mention names, or resort to name-calling.
Anyway 2 of his uncles were the ones to use the names skank, slut, fuckhead etc and I told MrC I need an apology from them before I'll speak to them again.
Their reasoning for name-calling is because I put it on fb they can call me names. I must have missed the memo that 2 wrongs make a right.
Anyway, last w/e MrC's cousin had a confirmation at a church and I told Pete of course we will go, I will be civil but I want an apology. At the church MrC made us sit next to one of the uncles, AND invited him to sit with us at lunch afterwards! I was ropeable.
MrC likes to keep the peace and just thought ignoring my feelings would be best for everyone. I was disgusted, ashamed and hurt that he wouldn't support me. He would rather sweep things under the rug than say "Hey, what you said was really mean and uncalled for, you need to apologise for your behaviour." But no, he just ignores it.
Later in the week I told MrC that it upset me, he called his other uncle to tell him he needs to apologise, he told Pete he will if I write sorry on FB! I told him his uncle can jump. We won't be attending any family functions with them there until they apologise.
Name-calling is disgusting behaviour and will NOT be tolerated, it doesn't matter what I did, name-calling is not the answer. I can't believe men in their 50's think that calling people names is acceptable.
His family disgust me, I am disgusted with how MrC handled it and I will not tolerate behaviour like that.
MrC and I sorted ourselves out and are happy but I am still upset with his family for attacking me like that. They should be ashamed of themselves but they think they did the right thing.
Needless to say they won't be invited to the engagement party or wedding until they apologise. That is that.
This is the first time in my entire life I've been so stressed I couldn't eat. Anyone who knows me knows I can put away the food, so to lose my appetite is serious business.
How do you people deal with stress like this every day?
There have been many times in my life where I should have been stressed but wasn't. Move to Qld at 19? Nope. Break up with long-term boyfriend? Nope. Quit job and move to a regional city with no job lined up? Still no stress.
The cause of this stress: MrC's family. Are you really surprised?
After the fiasco of his family trying to invite every man and his dog to our wedding I was at my wits end. I immaturely wrote something along the lines of "I wish people would be happy for us instead of trying to push their agendas onto us for our wedding. I'm stubborn and won't give in, so give up" on FB. Yes, I know, I put it on fb, what was I thinking? I was thinking that I'd had enough, and wanted to get my thoughts out.
What ensued was a big fb lecture from basically all of MrC's family calling me selfish, immature, calling my friends sluts, skanks, fuckheads for commenting along the lines of "Go MissK! Your day your way!"
The behaviour of his family was disgusting. I hadn't mentioned any names, but they knew it was aimed at them so they attacked back by name-calling. No where in my post did I mention names, or resort to name-calling.
Anyway 2 of his uncles were the ones to use the names skank, slut, fuckhead etc and I told MrC I need an apology from them before I'll speak to them again.
Their reasoning for name-calling is because I put it on fb they can call me names. I must have missed the memo that 2 wrongs make a right.
Anyway, last w/e MrC's cousin had a confirmation at a church and I told Pete of course we will go, I will be civil but I want an apology. At the church MrC made us sit next to one of the uncles, AND invited him to sit with us at lunch afterwards! I was ropeable.
MrC likes to keep the peace and just thought ignoring my feelings would be best for everyone. I was disgusted, ashamed and hurt that he wouldn't support me. He would rather sweep things under the rug than say "Hey, what you said was really mean and uncalled for, you need to apologise for your behaviour." But no, he just ignores it.
Later in the week I told MrC that it upset me, he called his other uncle to tell him he needs to apologise, he told Pete he will if I write sorry on FB! I told him his uncle can jump. We won't be attending any family functions with them there until they apologise.
Name-calling is disgusting behaviour and will NOT be tolerated, it doesn't matter what I did, name-calling is not the answer. I can't believe men in their 50's think that calling people names is acceptable.
His family disgust me, I am disgusted with how MrC handled it and I will not tolerate behaviour like that.
MrC and I sorted ourselves out and are happy but I am still upset with his family for attacking me like that. They should be ashamed of themselves but they think they did the right thing.
Needless to say they won't be invited to the engagement party or wedding until they apologise. That is that.
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Typical In-Law Rant
I'm a headstrong person, I don't take crap. So when people try to manipulate MrC (my husband to-be) to try to defy me, I get angry.
We've previously told the in-laws that we haven't decided if children will be at the wedding. MrC wants them there but I don't, we haven't come to an agreement yet.
We've also said that we won't invite anyone the other doesn't know (exceptions for out-of-state guests). And only inviting the cousins we speak too. We both have big italian families so weddings can easily be 250pax.
Today I went to a Bridal Expo in my hometown with KDB, whom is a very dear friend, to get ideas for both of our weddings (both getting married and being each others bridesmaids is a very special time that not many people get a chance to have!). The expo was great, we both got some cool ideas and discussed a few things, during the expo MrC asks me the name of a particular venue we had in mind, I text it to him thinking that he is just mentioning it to his Mum.
I get back to his parents house and he mentions the venue again, asks the capacity and mentions that we'll need to invite 150ppl to our wedding, not 120! And he also states that we're getting a babysitter for all the kids "Including Cousins baby, this child, this persons child" I just said "We haven't discussed that yet" and left the room as my rage was building.
His Mum said that they'll pay for the extra guests, not to worry about it. Oh, fantastic. Cus the money was what I was worried about, not the fact that you want me to have strangers at my wedding just because 'its tradition'.
MrC and I had also said time and time again, if we do decide to have kids, it will just be nieces and nephews, not everybodys child.
I feel like I give him an inch and he takes a mile.
I told him we WILL NOT be having people at the wedding that the other doesn't know, I don't care if he was invited to all of their weddings, in the 3 years of us dating I've never met them. He doesn't even have the extra guests on facebook or in his phone so they aren't close.
After about 15 minutes of fighting I was over it, so I calmly told him that our wedding is about us, not about our parents. His mother waited until I was out of the house to convince him to invite everyone and have kids, to try to bully me into giving in. That will NOT happen. We will do what we want as a couple for our day, not what is expected of us from family.
I don't want them to help pay for the wedding if it comes with conditions on the money.
MrC agreed that I was right, that his Mum was sneaky in going behind my back to talk to him without me there. If it was up to them we'd be getting married in a church in my hometown. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
All I have to say is: Bring it on. The more you try to push your son into agreeing with you, the more I will point out how you manipulate his decisions and he will agree with me, seeing as I'm his Wife-to-be.
I wish his family could just be happy with us instead of trying to push their agendas every time I turn my back.
We've previously told the in-laws that we haven't decided if children will be at the wedding. MrC wants them there but I don't, we haven't come to an agreement yet.
We've also said that we won't invite anyone the other doesn't know (exceptions for out-of-state guests). And only inviting the cousins we speak too. We both have big italian families so weddings can easily be 250pax.
Today I went to a Bridal Expo in my hometown with KDB, whom is a very dear friend, to get ideas for both of our weddings (both getting married and being each others bridesmaids is a very special time that not many people get a chance to have!). The expo was great, we both got some cool ideas and discussed a few things, during the expo MrC asks me the name of a particular venue we had in mind, I text it to him thinking that he is just mentioning it to his Mum.
I get back to his parents house and he mentions the venue again, asks the capacity and mentions that we'll need to invite 150ppl to our wedding, not 120! And he also states that we're getting a babysitter for all the kids "Including Cousins baby, this child, this persons child" I just said "We haven't discussed that yet" and left the room as my rage was building.
His Mum said that they'll pay for the extra guests, not to worry about it. Oh, fantastic. Cus the money was what I was worried about, not the fact that you want me to have strangers at my wedding just because 'its tradition'.
MrC and I had also said time and time again, if we do decide to have kids, it will just be nieces and nephews, not everybodys child.
I feel like I give him an inch and he takes a mile.
I told him we WILL NOT be having people at the wedding that the other doesn't know, I don't care if he was invited to all of their weddings, in the 3 years of us dating I've never met them. He doesn't even have the extra guests on facebook or in his phone so they aren't close.
After about 15 minutes of fighting I was over it, so I calmly told him that our wedding is about us, not about our parents. His mother waited until I was out of the house to convince him to invite everyone and have kids, to try to bully me into giving in. That will NOT happen. We will do what we want as a couple for our day, not what is expected of us from family.
I don't want them to help pay for the wedding if it comes with conditions on the money.
MrC agreed that I was right, that his Mum was sneaky in going behind my back to talk to him without me there. If it was up to them we'd be getting married in a church in my hometown. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
All I have to say is: Bring it on. The more you try to push your son into agreeing with you, the more I will point out how you manipulate his decisions and he will agree with me, seeing as I'm his Wife-to-be.
I wish his family could just be happy with us instead of trying to push their agendas every time I turn my back.
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